What is love? What the word “love” means in New Testament? These look like very difficult questions.
But the Greek word “agape” for “love” also means “charity”. So love is simply ability to do charity.
(1 Cor. 13)
1 If I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don’t have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but don’t have love, I am nothing. 3 If I dole out all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but don’t have love, it profits me nothing.
In the past it was about me. I had faith, I was baptized by Spirit and fire and prayed in tongues, I knew more than most other people. I even wanted to help the poor. But I didn’t have charity.
I was seeking for ways to get money for my ministry. It was a business, business attempting to serve God, but not a charity.
I was heavily pressed by the contradiction that I need money for my ministry but should not be greedy.
I was divided between God’s commandments and between my desire to get money for my ministry by any means (such as cursing other people and making them to die because of my curse).
At last (quite hilariously) I tried to put my hope on conforming to the Russian law (I’m from Russia) about charitable organizations. I tried to make me conform to this law, because I saw no other way to overcome my “holy” greed.
I found myself a modern kind of a Pharisee.