Pray for me, to get rid of negative thoughts

Many years ago (I probably was yet a teenager) I endured very hard life circumstances. It seems that something broke in my head with the following result:

I often have negative thoughts. It is often that I remember the rave I had before the conversion to Christ. Or just bad thoughts. Sometimes it is the thought to kill myself or somebody other, sometimes it is something indecent, or like this. I don’t kill or do any such things but the negative thoughts disturb me.

Please pray for me to get rid of negative thoughts and too often remembering the rave which I had before conversion.

I think, God allowed me to break a little because I thought too high about my own mind, such as being very positive was like an idol for me. But now I think, I already repented of this.

Also pray for my financial welfare for me to have money and free time to work in nonprofit/charity for benefit of others.

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Why we stay on knees praying?

Why we stay on knees praying? I think we are preparing for God’s security system.

In presence of God embodied in a body, one should stay on knees to make for him inconvenient to attack God’s body.

However: (Rom. 14:4) “Who are you who judge another’s servant? To his own lord he stands or falls. Yes, he will be made to stand, for God has power to make him stand.” This means that God’s security system is revealed so good (“God has power”) that the need to stay on the knees eliminates.